Thursday 5 October 2006

Pic of the day: How unselfish! Or...?

Anonymous gifts

There is a popular story here in southern Norway, but it is probably told in some for all over the Christian world, everyone thinking that it happened nearby. Which it quite possibly did in one form or another.

There was this small church, and the priest was reading some announcements. Among these: A fairly sizable donation to the church by an anonymous giver. At which point a well-off man in the assembly rose to his feet: "Yes, I thought it was best that way."

While this probably doesn't happen literally often, it describes very precisely the human tendency to seek positive attention. To seek to be recognized for the good things we do. And even more desperate are we to avoid being mistakenly seen as worse than we are. If some bad rumor is spreading about us, or if we are misunderstood, it seems imperative to get our name cleared immediately. It is a matter of life and death.

***

Why did Jesus recommend to not tell others about the good things we do? He gave several examples of this, and there can be little doubt what he meant. He recommended not praying in public, but behind closed doors. Not giving gifts in public, but so anonymously that not even our left hand knew what our right did. That is to say, presumably, that even we would forget it, much less remind anyone else about it. And while fasting (who does that these days anyway?) we should not tell it to a soul, but look as fresh and shiny as possible so people would think we were celebrating rather than beating ourselves into submission. Why? WHY?

I can think of at least two reasons. The most obvious is that we are not objective and impartial to ourselves. Without even thinking, we will try to maximize our bright sides and minimize our dim sides. We will automatically seek to hide that which would cast us in a bad light. For balance, it is necessary that we do the same about our good sides. Otherwise we are telling only half the truth, which is a whole lie. More exactly a whole hypocrisy.

The other reason is the effect on ourselves. Jesus says that our Father, who sees in secret, will reward us openly. So what is the reward? Gold? Jewels? Pretty women / handsome men? A long and healthy life? The downfall of our enemies? Once upon a time the young king Solomon discarded all these options in favor of wisdom. As a result, God gave him not only wisdom but all the other blessings as well. Yes, wisdom... there is a CLARITY that comes to the soul when there is no reward from the world or the flesh. When the only reason you do something is because it is the right thing to do, or because the love of God is burning inside you. (Not saying I have experienced this a lot, mind you. This is an objective treatment of the phenomenon, not a personal testimony.)

Our tendency to seek approval is a primate instinct; we are social animals by nature. By denying this approval, this reward, we are able to see how much we think it is really worth, in itself, that which we do. We take a small step from being an ape to becoming a truly sentient being, someone able to correctly assess the value of everything, undisturbed by own instincts. Even in such secular terms, it seems a great boon indeed.

***

Another quote comes to mind, not by Jesus directly but by my biological older brother Arnar (the second oldest). "When you are about to give someone else a gift, that's when you find out how much they can do without."

As long as I expect to be paid back, not necessarily in cash but in some other way that I appreciate, I am not really looking at their needs at all. I am in essence giving a gift to myself. My choice is influenced by what I hope to be rewarded for, rather than what is actually useful for my neighbor and those he again will interact with in the future. Do you see? Again, we are not truly able to help others until we disengage from our own reward. And the only surefire way to do this is to give anonymously. When that is not possible, which it often is not, at least try to downplay it. Because of our built-in distortion, downplay will probably get us closer to the truth anyway. "Humility is just a subset of realism."

Now for God's sake don't believe that random anonymous gifts come from me. They very rarely do. And in the few cases where it may happen – if you are a good friend, possibly once in your lifetime, but perhaps not – it doesn't really matter. Whoever did it, did it for his or her own good. Don't take that away from them.