Monday 1 November 1999

TMI

Pic of the day: Uhm, the artist's impression of the artist? Or something.

...

Where to begin? Suddenly everything happens at once. Well, first off, a call from the doctor's office. I was out for lunch, but called them back. The secretary told me: "You have chlamydia in your lungs." "So that is what I have?" I asked rhetorically. "Er, no. You have mycoplasma." "Oh." I generally admire people who are honest enough to confess an error. But in some matters I'd prefer no errors in the first place. In retrospect, I regret not asking one more time. Then at least I would have a majority vote ...

The secretary asked me if I wanted a prescription. "Do you still feel ill?" "Somewhat." "It will occasionally just disappear by itself." However, I got a prescription, just to be sure. DOXYLIN, which the girl claimed was a powerful antibiotic. I should have asked twice about that too, I guess. I guess I shall have to go buy it and see if the box tells me anything about the actual contents. "Doxylin" is almost certainly just a brand name, made by some PR company, with no idea of what the thing actually does.

But anyway, it seems this doctor was right on the mark with his insistence on infection. He had actually told me that he had seen a local surge of chlamydia and mycoplasma, so checked basically for those. This means that I may not need to dust off regularly after all. Yay!

But better still, I guess I can now discard the idea of the more psychological type, that my illness was due to suppressed sadness. After all, there has been very little improvement after weeks of suppressing my happiness instead. So much for the healing power of whining! I have almost decided already to lift my wings and unleash the raw power of my built-up, unbridled H A P P I N E S S ! I can practically already sense it twirl and swirl, sparkle and glitter ... like myriads of glittering multicolored fireflies spreading all over the place ... I just love to be happy! Happy from my nose to my toes! If I can be use my happiness without getting sick from it, I intend to run all over the place with it. It ought to be worth a try!

I mean, unhappy I can be in Hell, if worst comes to worst. And if I don't get there, the more reason to start being happy RIGHT NOW! :) Right folks?

...

OK, I had another doctor visit today, but this was the almost compulsory 40-year control. All 40 year old are sent to a check, mainly cardio vascular stuff (heart and blood). Had to fill out another questionnaire, I bet I'll get good at this if I live long enough! And they measured my weight and height and took another blood sample, from the right arm this time. I feel I'm starting to look like a heroin junkie with all the needle marks on my arms. I find the idea hilarious, though it is certainly tough enough for the junkies. Anyway it was quick and simple tests, blood pressure and stuff. I had put on clean underwear for nothing! Peeeve! They even weighed me with my clothes on. (But not shoes, at least.)

And they did not tell me my weight, either. I guess I'm still somewhere just above 90 kg, like I've been the last ten years or so. That's a bit much for a 189 cm man. I could get by with 10 kg less. I know this because I did when I was younger. But I am bewildered about just where all this supposed fat is hiding. Yes, I have a small backpack on my stomach; but not more than I can hold in until the cute girls have passed. (Just kidding!) But 10 kg? There must have been a hollow there when I started! As a certified, card-carrying male I can not store excess fat on my hips, buttocks and thighs like the lucky females can do. It's not just more out of the way, but much more healthy.

Oh, and the nice lady that drew my blood taught me how to stop the bleeding afterwards quickly and efficiently, by pressing a cotton thingie against the puncture and bending the arm slightly. This will come in so handy in the future, if the future is anything like the present. If not, it was still nice of her.

...

OK! Enough of the doctor thingie. I love it, obviously, but unless you are a med student you are probably fed up and then some by now. So I'll skip (though not with a light heart) some old medical stories I just remembered, and move on to a healthy individual: President Bill Clinton. (Or was that William Jefferson Clinton? I think I've heard both.) Anyway, the man is in Oslo. The first sitting US president to ever visit Norway. I agree completely with his comment, what were all the others thinking? The man is immensely popular here. Mainly for being American, of course.

Norway is the most Americanized country this side of the big pond. We eat lots of Big Macs and Whopper Cheese and drink lots of Coca Cola and Pepsi. We have more American PCs and visit more American Internet sites. And we have ca the same GDP and the same density of PCs and Internet access as the USA, too. In these and other aspects we are much more similar to the USA than to the EU. I like to joke that Norwegians would probably prefer membership in the USA to the EU. Hey, Hawaii isn't exactly in the heartlands either! And there were in my childhood as many people of Norwegian descent in the US as in Norway...

Of course, the Americans are generally fatter. But then again, perhaps we would be too if we could buy fast food almost for nothing. And have I told you that there is only ONE MacDonalds outlet in a city of seventy thousand people and a huge college? OK, so I have told you. It bears repeating, though. Come over and help us! We need a Burger King too.

Ack, this entry is way too long already and I have loads to tell! I finally bought the 250 MB USB Zip drive, but have not got around to test it yet because I have been writing frantically since I came home. I haven't even eaten yet. Except yoghurt. Anyway, I bought it at the Shop of Angels that I mentioned last month. Yes, they let me buy it. But I guess I could still have a donkey talk to me. (Obscure biblical reference, damned heathen readers please ignore).

Oh, and let us not forget! I now have come one year around on the first archives that were not accidentally destroyed. Finally, I too can include a link to One year ago! (Uh ... when Crosswinds.net is up again after moving... Good timing guys!)

Have a good night, and wish me luck with trying out my happiness again! If I survive, I will endeavor to keep you updated!


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One year ago

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