Wednesday 27 June 2001

Pic of the day: Trust me, Superman, you will regret it.
Photo stolen from the July issue of The Adventures of Superman, nr 592, which is incidentally mostly a pathetic story about Jimmy Olsen playing a video game. Sorry about that.

Beware those butts

Isn't this the strangest thing. I overslept 45 minutes, clock radio blaring, and woke up just 10 minutes before I had to go for the bus. Even for a male, that is not a lot of time. Especially for a very tired male. Coming out in the fresh air, I gradually regained consciousness. The soft, vague headache from last night was still there. I felt like I had a flu - except there is no flu around here now - but I hoped it would improve. On the bus I wished I could just heal myself psionically. But no.

Oh yes, the strange thing. In the city, I stopped and looked at a young woman's behind. Not anyone I really know, either, though I've seen her before. She was kind of showing it off, probably without thinking about it; but don't worry, she was decently clothed all the way down. And anyway, there's not a lot you can do with butts anyway when you don't have sex, as I don't. They're really just decorative. (Well, I guess some appreciate them for the sound effects, but let's not go there today.)

After looking from a safe distance, I moved on. I was on my way to work, after all. But I had scarcely passed her when my feet almost gave out under me. I was suddenly feeling very weak. As if I had run as long as I could and just got my breath back. As if I had carried something heavy up a long flight of stairs. As if I had just healed someone psionically. As if my blood sugar had just crashed to almost nothing.

As soon as I got to the office, I drank a couple glasses of water. Now, usually I hate bare water. I know this is a joke among the drinking classes, but really: I have a hard time drinking more than a couple swallows of water. My throat simply constricts. Weird. But now I drank near half a liter of the stuff. Then I ate two boxes of yoghurt. A while later my normal strength returned, and my headache subsided too. Though there is still a faint echo of it in there.

***

So what's going on? I mean, I could probably explain it metaphysically. God did not like me looking at a young hindquarter so he choked the supply of mystical life energy. As a warning. "We do not want to die and burn in hell, now do we?"

(Incidentally, while the Bible repeatedly mentions the grabbing of breastesses, it is conspiciously silent on butts. The only interesting mention of that body part is the casual report that one of the prophets for a while walked around with his backside bare, as a sign of something for the people. But that's really very different.)

Now there is also the question of looking at women in order to desire (or "covet") them, which a God-dependent person is not supposed to do either. Well, apart from the rather unusual reaction, there is that. I did desire to continue to look at her for a while. But I did not desire to go home to any of our places and train in marital arts.

***

Looking at the episode from a more scientific angle, it seemed like somthing pushed my body across some trigger line. Now I had not eaten for 8 hours or so, probably more, but that is not usually a problem. Hunger does not manifest in me as weakness, normally, but as a demand from my stomach to be fed. Also I usually make do with little water. But this time it seems like either my blood sugar or my blood pressure fell suddenly below normal operational limits. Weird.

Probably my blood pressure, given my sudden preference for water afterwards. The dizziness, the weakness ... Like I was on the verge of going into shock. Now that's simply not fair, that backside was not nearly that impressive in size or shape. (*grumble*) But it sure makes the picture strangely appropriate, which is from a comic I bought later in the day, during the lunch break. Stay clear of that butt, Superman! You could get a nasty ... shock.