Monday 25 June 2001

Pic of the day: OK, I ate till it hurt and pushed my guts out, but still ... there's definitely some surplus luggage there.

Battle against the bulge

There are invented many diplomatic ways to describe this condition of middle-aged men: "He's got guts - they're hanging over his belt" being one of the less diplomatic. Others that come to mind being "beer belly", "pondus", "backpack on the stomach", "CEO tummy" and "age-related bonus". I am sure your local language has other colorful descriptions.

Yes, I am referring to the combination of fat and relaxed musculature that makes our guts bulge out, unless there are cute women in the area, in which case we painfully try to keep it all in. Ahem. Perhaps we shouldn't. Very few things in the human body are completely useless. Whether you believe our body has been designed by a wise Creator or just forged by millions of years of harsh trial and weeding, there is usually a reason for everything. Including the infamous bulge.

Throughout history, food has not often been as plentiful as it is here in the post-industrial world. The ability to store some surplus in our bodies has traditionally been a Good Thing. And the distribution of fat on the body is also significant: Women usually start to store the fat below their waist, particularly on hips and thighs. This fat is very hard to release back into the bloodstream, though it will eventually give in to prolonged hunger. It is however released by certain hormones related to reproduction, during late pregnancy and during breastfeeding. Well, unless the running intake of fat is enough even in those times.

In contrast, we men typically have our fat stored more above the waist, typically first inside the body around kidneys and guts, eventually on the guts and finally all over the body, including the neck. (The same will eventually happen to women when their primary reservoirs are filled.) This upper fat is more easily released back into the bloodstream. In fact, any prolonged stress is likely to send the lipids churning into that red river. This is not necessarily a good thing, if the work we do is not physical. A high level of fatty acids in the blood increases the risks for hardened arteries and eventually heart infarcts.

But by default, a bulging gut indicates a successful male. Incidentally, it also tends to mark him as available to females, as the gut tends to be flattened in periods of intense erotic activity. Like falling in love and stuff. (Or so I have heard.) Of course, we humans are not directly ruled by instinct. So while the bulging gut may have helped our stone-age ancestors attract a mate, the effect seems rather diminished these days.

***

Regardless of this, I have noticed more and more of these bulges around me. For a rich country, Norway has a surprisingly fit and lean population. But this is slowly changing as we approach that lighthouse of western civilization, the USA. (Some will point out that lighthouses are there to avoid, not to steer straight on. In this particular case, they may have a point.) Here in Scandinavia, we have this saying: "Norwegians eat to live; Danes live to eat; and Swedes eat to drink." But these roles are blending, and particularly the Norwegian one is getting really diffuse. I don't even except myself here.

Of course, there is no law of nature that says we're going to continue the same way as in the past. Oh wait, there is. It is called "inertia". And the greater the mass, the more inertia, right? :)

***

Luckily, there are some things we quasi-pregnant males can do to brake before we splatter on the dark cliffs of cardiovascular dysfunction. In fact, there are so many different approaches that there should be one for almost any personality.

If you are cheap, for instance, you could simply eat less. And in particular less meat, which is not only expensive but also very rich in energy. If you are not growing up or building muscle, there is no reason to have lot of protein in your diet anyway. The body can recycle most of its proteins, and there is some protein even in plants. Cheap food like grains, beans and fresh produce are also good to lose weight. In short, cheap is good.

For the more active among us, excess fat is as good an excuse as you can get to jump on your bike or pull on your jogging gear, park the car, take the stairs ... all that stuff. Actually recent research has shown that if you start to exercise in your 40es, the added lifetime is roughly similar to the time you spend exercising ... so if you hate it, you may want a different approach. But some minimum of movement is necessary to keep the body functioning, or it may eventually self destruct. Half an hour of light exercise (brisk walk, house cleaning etc) three times a week is usually enough to convince the body that it is still inhabited.

For those of a more sensual nature, this may be a good time to look for other sense pleasures than food. It is a fact that many are motivated by the pleasure principle, and there is a lot of fattening yummy food. But there are also delicious low-fat foods, and there are many other things to occupy the senses. The most obvious of which I think I shall leave to imagination. (Keep it legal, people!) I will however briefly mention the power of fragrance. Vanilla, in particular, has a surprising ability to satisfy the brain. You may make jokes about "plain vanilla", but more and more people now wear a vanilla patch they can sniff when they start to feel peckish for some snacks. It really satisfies. But also many other fragrances can help derail the thoughts from food.

Overall, an increase in personal awareness might be helpful. Make a habit of meditating regularly if you feel that you need to expand your awareness. And make a rule to eat only at a certain place in the house ... dinner table, kitchen, whatever. Observation shows that people who snack in front of the TV or computer do so on a very primitive level, without applying their knowledge about healthy food, and often without knowing afterwards what they have eaten!

Let us go forth, my fat friends! May the Force be with you!